


Dry trees and sunlight

by littlemaple



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, usukustwiceperyear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 18:06:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12086460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemaple/pseuds/littlemaple
Summary: Arthur meets with his boyfriend in a park to share his insecurities for the future.





	Dry trees and sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> Sup, everyone!  
> This was my fic for the USUKUS Twice Per year event, which is a collection with a lot of awesome fanfics and fanarts and you can check it out[here!!](https://usukustwiceperyear.tumblr.com/post/165301440386/four-seasons-of-usukus-a-collection-of-fanarts)

 

The bench was kind of damp because of the rain the previous night, but Arthur didn’t care; he sat on it anyway.

Alfred was late, but that was no news. He was always about five minutes late.

Arthur sighed as he looked around, feeling his heart pounding in anxiousness and fear. The trees were all yellow and orange and _dying_. Arthur knew it was how life worked for them: Winter was coming, so they had to let go of their leaves to survive the cold. Yet he looked at them, at the leaves falling with the slightest wind and he couldn’t not think of his life. It was a perfect visual image of how everything was at the moment: falling apart.

“Artie!” he heard and turned his head to see Alfred jogging towards him. He had a big smile on his chubby, reddish cheeks and was waving towards Arthur. Arthur waved back.

When Alfred finally reached him he stopped, hands on his knees, breathing heavily.

“... You okay?” Arthur asked, eyebrows raised as he watched Alfred struggle for air.

“I’m… fine… don’t worry.” Alfred assured, giving him a thumbs up.

“You shouldn’t run like that. Where’s your inhaler?”

“Pocket.” Alfred patted his bombed jacket’s pocket and sat down next to Arthur, “Don’t need it. Phew. Ok. I’m better.” he sighed and finally looked at Arthur. He was still smiling, his glasses crooked on his nose and his bangs sticking to his forehead. “Okay, Artie, what was so urgent it made you use five exclamation marks while texting?” he was still smiling but he sounded genuinely worried.

Arthur looked back to the trees and watched as some leaves fell. The air was humid and the skies were all gray. It was probably going to rain soon and neither of them had an umbrella.

He opened his mouth to speak but for a while he just couldn’t, the words didn’t leave his mouth. Arthur thought about the dying leaves again, about how the tree needed to make that sacrifice to stay alive.

It was a nice metaphor, the Autumn trees. Maybe he could make some poetry on it later.

“I… I think… I’ll have to go back to England, Al…” he said finally. His words were heavy but they didn’t fall. They floated around them in uncomfortable silence for too long.

“... w-what do you mean? I… why?” Alfred said finally, and he sounded hurt.

“My parents… I… I think they’ll get a divorce this time…” Arthur said quietly, staring at his hands resting on his lap, “... my mum, she… she made my father leave last night, said he should sleep at a hotel… then she said she wanted to go _home_ …”

“That sucks, Artie… but… but maybe she’ll sleep over it, you know? Maybe she woke up today and…”

“He hit her.” Arthur said and his voice was so sharp he felt like it could cut himself, “Again.” he gulped, “He hadn’t done this in a long time, and yesterday… mum said she can’t take this anymore…”

There was that uncomfortable silence again.

“But maybe… she can send your dad somewhere else… when my auntie got a divorce, she made her husband leave and she kept the house, so…” Alfred said. Arthur knew he was trying, but he also knew it wasn’t enough.

“My mum doesn’t have anyone here. We came here because my father’s got a promotion and _his_ family lives here… but her family’s all in England.” Arthur sighed, “To be honest, I… I know she’ll leave… after this time, I’m sure, but… I’m not sure… if she’ll take me with her…” Arthur said and his voice was quieter now.

The metaphor… was for his mother. She was the tree, and it was Autumn. She had to lose useless things to survive. Her husband was one of those but Arthur didn’t know if he was too.

He felt his eyes wet.

“And I… I don’t want to leave here… I don’t want to lose…” he looked up to Alfred, to his first friend at school, his best friend. Arthur had arrived in the middle of the freshman year, and he was so lost. Alfred helped him out. Alfred became his friend even if he was the weird, scraggy English kid with too many pimples and too many freckles. They became best friends. Alfred had been… his first real friend and his first real kiss, too.

“B-but I also… I don’t want to stay with _him_ …” Arthur added, looking down. He didn’t want to stay with his father and he was sure his father didn’t want to stay with him either, not after last night.

“Artie…”

“It’s all my fault, you know.” he said, looking down at his feet, to the leaves below his shoes. They were damp and dead.

“Of course it’s not your fault!” Alfred said. He sounded confused and hurt and Arthur wished he would just give him a hug and say everything was going to be fine. But Alfred never lied, did he?

“It is. I don’t know if they’d ever been happy, but he hadn’t touched her or me in a long time, but…”

_Mum? Dad? I… there’s something… I need to tell you…_

“... but because of me, he… it’s my fault, Al.” Arthur felt tears in his eyes now. He had been holding them back for as long as he could, but he just… couldn’t anymore. It was cold. He was scared. He didn’t know if he was a leave to his mother and he didn’t know if she hated him now because after everything, she didn’t say a word, she just looked at him and shook her head and locked herself in her room and Arthur didn’t know what to do. Everything was falling apart.

Falling.

Failing.

He was sure he had failed her.

“Artie… what happened?” Alfred asked. He had moved closer and reached for Arthur’s hand, squeezing it. His hand was warm but it was sweaty. Arthur didn’t mind. He liked Alfred.

He kinda loved him, to be honest.

“I… I tried to come out to them.” he whispered, “But I shouldn’t have.”

_What? What do you mean? Arthur, this better be a fucking joke. And it’s not fucking funny, do you hear me?_

_I… I don’t…_

_I didn’t raise you to be a fucking…!_

_Don’t talk to him like that, Jonathan._

_Oh, shut up, Alice! Didn’t you hear what he said? Where did this come from, Arthur? All those poems and unicorns… I should’ve seen this coming. I should’ve done something about it from the start! Now look at you!_

_I… I just…_

_I can’t believe this. I can’t. I don’t deserve this._

_Jonathan! I’m not happy either, but he’s our son._

_Shut the fuck up, Alice. If it wasn’t for you spoiling the shit out of the kid maybe he wouldn’t turn out to be a fucking--_

Arthur was sobbing, then. Alfred squeezed his hand. It was cold. The leaves were falling around them and Arthur wished he could look at them and find it pretty, but at the moment it wasn’t pretty, it was sad. He was sad. He had never felt so lost and so alone. His father hated him. His mother also probably hated him, too.

“You know… if… you can stay at my place. If you need.” Alfred offered and Arthur smiled at that. The first time Arthur had visited Alfred’s house as his _boyfriend_ , his mother had said the same thing. She held Arthur’s hand sweetly and told him to be safe. Alfred’s parents were so sweet. So loving. Arthur… envied him. “My mom won’t let we sleep in the same room,” Alfred kept saying, “So you can have Matt’s.”

“I don’t think Matt will like that…” Arthur smiled a bit, leaning closer to Alfred and shyly placing his head on Alfred’s shoulder.

“Matt’s only ten, he won’t mind.” Alfred smiled. He seemed tense, and he probably didn’t know what to do. Arthur didn’t judge him, because he also didn’t know and he was in the middle of that mess himself.

Arthur nodded and sniffed, rubbing his eyes to stop the tears. It was no use crying, nothing would change if he did. He just… needed to wait and see what would happen, what his mother would decide.

“Hey,” Alfred said, smiling, “Why don’t we go back to my place? I can ask my mom to make hot chocolate for us, and we can play games?”

“No making out.” Arthur added.

“No, no making out. I don’t want my mom walking in on that again, jeez… I cringe just to think about it…” Alfred laughed. A few weeks after Arthur and Alfred had started to date officially (to Alfred’s parents), they decided to watch a movie on Alfred’s room. His mother walked in with some cookies and soda, only to find her son pinned to the bed with his boyfriend on top of him. They were just kissing but that had been _so embarrassing_ , they had barely touched each other while on Alfred’s place after that. And yet Alfred’s mother was still being kind and sweet to both of them. Arthur would look at her and think, _I want that too_.

So he decided to talk to his parents.

And he realized once and for all he would never have that. His father was a dick and his mother was…

Arthur wasn’t sure. He thought maybe she was just sad.

“Sounds cool.” Arthur said, and he offered a smile to Alfred. He smiled back.

Alfred was so… precious.

Arthur loved him.

Arthur was living in Autumn but it was like Alfred was a glimpse of Summer. Arthur was a rainy day, damp leaves on the sidewalk and gloominess. Alfred was a sunny day, kids playing on the park and dogs catching frisbees.

When he was in a good mood, Arthur would call him _sunshine_ , and that was how he saw Alfred. He was like… beams of light breaking through his gloomy clouded life.

They walked to Alfred’s place holding hands. They usually avoided public contact like that because Arthur was too afraid to tell his parents about that detail about himself, but now his parents knew. Alfred didn’t live far from the park and the walk there was quiet, the two of them in silence, hand in hand, with trees all around them, yellow leaves falling on their heads. It was still morning, but the clouds were covering most of the sunlight. And it was cold, humid. It was Sunday and everything seemed… still. As if that moment would never end. Arthur wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

When they approached Alfred’s house Arthur gulped, because there was a woman sitting on the sidewalk, a cigarette in hand and sunglasses on her eyes. Her blonde, long hair was falling down her shoulders, and she looked really, really tired. Arthur wanted to run away because he didn’t want to face his Mother right now. But he didn’t run, he just took his hand away from Alfred’s and looked down.

The woman looked towards them and smiled, crushing her cigarette with her heel.

“Hi, Mrs Kirkland.” Alfred said when they got closer, hands on his pockets. Arthur was still looking down.

“Hello, Alfred. Can I have a minute with Arthur, please?” she asked, putting a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. It felt too heavy.

“Uh, sure. I see you in a bit, Artie. Bye, Mrs Kirkland.” Alfred said. He hesitated for a bit as Alice waved him goodbye, and his eyes lingered on Arthur’s, but in the end he just got inside.

Arthur didn’t know what to say.

And before he could try to say anything, his mother hugged him. It was awkward, tense. The last time they had hugged was for Arthur’s birthday in April. He felt his eyes wet but he refused to let the tears fall.

“I’m sorry, pumpkin.” she said, “I should’ve said this yesterday, but I love you.”

Arthur took a deep breath. He didn’t want to cry.

“I really do. Your father is an asshole, I should’ve… left him a long time ago… I guess I still loved him back then.” she sighed and kissed Arthur’s hair. Then she let go.

Arthur avoid looking at her eyes.

“... Are you… we… going back to England?” he asked, unsure.

“I will,” she started, and Arthur couldn’t hold the tears anymore, “once you graduate.”

…?

“Huh?” he asked, confused.

She smiled.

“You just began your senior year. And I know… you have friends here.” she looked at Alfred’s house, “And I know the school you want to go to study biology is around here, too. So I…”

“You… you’re staying with _him_?”

“No. I talked to a friend, she’s got a job for me at her company. So me and you, we’ll rent a flat and live there till you finish high school. Then when you go to University, we’ve been saving for this for years, I’m not gonna let your father take that money from you, then when you go there… I’ll go back to England.”

“Mum…”

Alice touched his cheek briefly.

“It’s gonna be okay, hon.” she smiled. Arthur saw a tear fall down from her sunglasses but she quickly dried it, “Go to your boyfriend now, okay? I’ll start looking for a place for us. I don’t want to stay in that house anymore. I already went to the police.” she let out a long, tired sigh.

Arthur hugged her once again.

She was like a tree in Autumn, tall and strong, letting go of what she didn’t need to survive. And maybe Arthur was another tree and maybe he was just like a squirrel living in his mother’s tree, but… the point is they were going to stay together.

“I love you.” he told her.

“I love you too. I’ll call you later, okay? Let’s have dinner together. Me, you… Alfred. What do you say? I… want to hear about you two.” she offered a weak smile.

“Okay.” Arthur nodded, “Sounds good.”

They said their goodbyes and Arthur went inside Alfred’s house. He was sitting by the kitchen counter with his mother. They both looked worried and Arthur knew Alfred had told her about everything.

“Are you okay?” he came to ask Arthur, holding both of his hands. Arthur probably didn’t look okay, red cheeks and wet eyes. He nodded.

“I’m great. Mum invited you to dinner.” he told Alfred, “We’re gonna… rent a place for us. Till I finish high school…”

“So… so you’re not leaving?” Alfred asked. He was smiling now, that summer-bright smile of his.

“No, I’m not going anywhere.”

Alfred hugged him.

“I’m so happy for you… for your mom… I mean… it still sucks, but! You’re gonna be fine.” Alfred said.

He hugged Alfred back, letting his tears fall and fall. The kitchen smelled of hot chocolate, coffee and pancakes. From the kitchen window Arthur could see just a bit of sunlight breaking the gloomy clouds.

He smiled.

His leaves were falling, but he would survive. He was strong. And after all that falling and all that cold, he’d grow new leaves and enjoy the sunlight and the birds.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Feedback is always welcome wink wink


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